I’m a natural go-getter. When I decide I want to do something or I have an idea for a crazy dream I want to make happen, I start taking steps to make it into a reality. But that never ever means it’s smooth sailing. When the going gets tough, I start to doubt myself in a really big way. I wonder why I started in the first place; I start thinking that whatever I’m trying to accomplish won’t ever happen; I’ll even be filled with thoughts that I’m not good enough or talented enough. Side note: I loathe that word enough. To anyone who thinks I’m perfect, think again. I’m fairly confident…until I’m not. But I try to hide it to the very best of my ability.
When I’m feeling confident and when I’m fighting being enough, the importance of my tribe comes into play. In my head, I call them my girl gang. :) These ladies (…and my dad) are all business owners or best friends or family. Their affirmations that I should, in fact, keep going even when I’m in the trenches of frustration are usually what get me back on track to believing in myself. They’re all kind, savvy, talented in their own ways, and have the great ability to make me laugh. Oh, and they listen to all of my crazy. That last part might be the most important.
But there’s more. Because there’s always more.
The wedding industry is highly competitive. I’m sure that’s true of just about any industry. If you’re not feeling as though you’re competing against someone else, you likely feel as though you’re competing against yourself to be better, more fulfilled, enough. Aside from all of the aforementioned qualities of my greatest industry friends (and actual friends), there’s one more that should be absolutely noted: competition is tossed aside.
It’s freeing to know I have a group of people I can contact at a moment’s notice who will answer all of my questions without hesitation because they want me to understand the “how” and “why” behind the task at hand. They all want me to succeed, and I feel the exact same way about them. Tossing aside the feeling that you can’t help someone else for fear that they might actually be better than you is freeing because you realize you have company as you’re walking your road whatever road that may be. Company is more important. But you have to push yourself to ask questions and offer to answer them.
So how do you find a tribe?
- Be the one who listens and offers advice…freely and without hesitation. Look for those opportunities because the person on the other end will be forever grateful to know there’s someone who wants to help. In the past week, I’ve been the one asking questions of others and the one being asked. Both sides are just as important.
- Search for industry groups on Facebook and find likeminded people on Instagram. Even though you may be chatting online and not face-to-face, you’ll quickly realize they’re there and you’re all experiencing the same problems and achievements.
- Attend an industry conference and network around the room. It’s always awkward to talk to people you don’t know, but it’s so worth it when you find common ground and realize you’re very much alike.
- Surround yourself with the right people from your existing group. There are friends who are fun and then there are the ones who really get you. Have the ones who really get you on speed dial. And contact them often.
- Contact people you admire. If you admire someone’s career, send them an email telling them exactly that. They’ll likely be flattered, and one conversation after another may lead to an awesome friendship (and a mentor).
Once you do find people you can contact at a moment’s notice, appreciate them always. Truly giving people are rare – hold onto the ones who believe in you. And always believe in them, too.
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I’m happy to say I’m one of the ones who really gets you!
Another awesome article! You ROCK girlfriend!!
Great advice Carly. You make me think, which is good.
I love this! It’s so important to be supportive of others instead of just view them as competition :) Yay for industry groups on facebook!