Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ve debated whether or not to write a post to commemorate it. I’ve decided to press onward with pressing “publish” mainly because I’ve been reflecting so much on growth. And maybe someone else might benefit from my own experiences.
I tend to cry right before (and usually on) my birthday. Sometimes I’m reacting to getting older, sometimes I’m reacting to the unknown, and at some point I cry because of an overflow of joy. I’m also just super emotional. :) I view my birthday as the one day each and every year when I’m special. I stay up until midnight the night before my birthday and am super cheesy in that I say happy birthday to myself…usually by myself. I tend to reflect for a few minutes, and I’m always excited to see what the rest of the day will bring.
Last year, I spent the day in New York City (one of my favorite places!), and in the middle of Times Square I became super overwhelmed by the unknown. And started to cry. At lunch. Classic New York moment right there. I became hyper aware of the many questions that I had been wondering – what would happen over the next year; who would I spend the year with; would I still be living in the same city? All of the questions. But the year started to look up when I pressed onward with my day…and won Lady Antebellum tickets hours later.
A year later, I still wonder about many of those questions. And I still love Lady Antebellum. But the questions don’t consume my each and every thought as much as they used to. This year I’ve learned about the power of resilience and believing in my personal mission. I’ve learned how to believe in myself more fiercely – to believe in my worth both personally and professionally. I’ve learned the importance of having a plan, but being willing to leave some of it up to chance and “we’ll see how this goes”. The leaving things up to chance part is really hard for me to do. I’ve learned even more about the joy of taking chances on people, opportunities, and places. And the joy I feel when others take a chance on me. I’ve learned that creating my own opportunities does, in fact, take years sometimes, but when I see things coming to fruition, it’s SO worth it. I’ve learned that part of the reason I struggled with anxiety is so I would one day experience the fearlessness I felt when I finally shared part of my story and helped others at the same time. I’ve learned that one bad day is just that – a day – it’s not a sign that I should give up. I’ve learned that when all else fails, the best idea is to find joy in my family and friends (who are basically family). This year wasn’t perfect, but it was filled with progress. And that’s far better.
25 allowed me to start to find true joy and happiness. And it’s one of my best years yet (maybe even the best!). I’ll likely cry tomorrow, but it won’t be from not knowing about what will happen next. It will be because I’m so grateful to celebrate my day (…in New York City…again) and the journey that I’m on wherever that leads me next. Here’s to 26!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Have a great day (and year.) I can’t believe that you’re 26. Seems like only yesterday……
I now have tears in my eyes. Wonderful post!
Amanda Sandlin says
Happy early birthday, my love!